A Thank You that Made Me Cry

This past year, I have become deeply passionate about homeless issues in my community. 

The spark that lit the flame came at a United Way Director's meeting that I went to as a representative for CSRC when my executive director was out on maternity leave.  The CEO of the the Larimer County United Way began the meeting by speaking about how strong the Fort Collins and surrounding communities are in the way that our people and businesses seek to help each other.  That once a problem is identified, that we seek to resolve it.  But that the one issue that we struggle to make headway with is the number of families and people who are considered chronically homeless.  He went on to say that he knows that many people think that being homeless is a choice, or the result of an addiction, and that we do not need to spend significant resources helping these people when they "choose" to not help themselves.  He finished with the simple statement of "I can't believe that any person would choose to eat out of a garbage can, would choose to shiver in the night when winter comes, and choose not to have a better life - if they felt they had the choice. We use our resources to help them see that they do have a choice, and when they realize that there are ways to better their situation, they are empowered to make a different choice."

In January, an email was sent out through the United Way asking for help staffing an emergency shelter that was being setup at a local church.  The local (permanent) shelter was filling up and people were being turned away to sleep on the streets in the varying temperatures of the Colorado winter.  This emergency shelter would be open from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. every night between January and March.  They needed volunteers who would be willing to help set up between 9:45 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. and clean up between 6:30 a.m. - 8 a.m. 

I did not hesitate in volunteering my time.  What was I doing between 9:45 and 11 p.m. any night?  Sleeping, watching TV, blogging, facebooking?  These are all things that could be pushed aside. I could still go out to dinner with friends.  I could still walk my dogs.  I could still enjoy Modern Family or 30 Rock.  It was an hour and a  half of my time each week that I could give that could help.  And I'm so glad that I've done it.

It hasn't been hard work.  Roll out some tarps to take care of the floor.  Set out mats and cots.  Make sure people check in and give us demographic information (age, sex, race, etc).  I like being the person at the door that greets everyone when they come in - which also makes me the person who runs the breathalyzer.    I have not had a single person who has blown higher than a .00.  The 30, 40, even 50 men who have come seeking shelter are not drunks.  Sadly, many are veterans and many are mentally ill who do not have family who have been able to help them stay on their feet or give them shelter.  Many of them do have jobs.  They are just low income and can't afford the rising costs of apartments and houses that Fort Collins has seen in the past two decades.  This is really troubling to me. 

I've made it my rule to arrive at least 15/20 minutes early and wait outside with those who have gathered before the doors are opened.  I like to do this because I get to know those who are staying a little bit better. I hear stories, I share jokes.  There have been times that it was very cold, so cold one night that one man asked me why I didn't go back and sit in my car until the volunteer coordinator came. I told him that if he didn't have a car to wait it out in, then I could wait it out too.  He smiled at me and told me that it was admirable, but if he had a car to wait it out in, he would. 

If he had a choice....

This past weekend I went to Minneapolis for my new job.  We opened up our restaurant in downtown Minneapolis and gave a free holiday meal to low income and homeless families in a nice, sit down environment.  White table cloth, wrapped silverware, the works.  We gave around 250 people- many who were families with children- a memory of a traditional holiday gathering rather than having the memory of having to spend Easter in a shelter. 

At this event, I had a section of tables that I was the lead waitress.  I've been waitressing for many years, so I was able to go on auto-pilot a bit and step right back into the swing of things.  I was pulled aside by a single mother right before she was leaving the restaurant.

"You told me 'Thank you for coming and visiting us today" she told me. "At the shelter, no one says that.  I always feel like the people who are there [at the shelter] are there because we need them to be.  This is the first time that my kids have eaten in a restaurant and I know they were misbehaving.  But you still told me thank you for coming and visiting, and I felt like I was important."

I reached out and rubbed her shoulder.  Her kids were tugging on her shirt and the bus that was taking them back to the shelter had come, so she needed to go.  All I had time to say was "I would say that to any table I served.  And you are important."  She nodded with a big smile and left before I blinked out a few tears.

I don't know what the answer is to fix these problems.  I know that I am not rich so I don't have the ability to give a substantial amount of money to help fund these causes, but I can give my time.  I know that everyone deserves to feel important, because your self worth is what carries you during hard times.  

I don't know what the answer is to fix these problems.  But I know I can do the best I can to help.  And I can speak out and be a voice for this issue.

I'm making that my choice.