You are not the first person to hear me say this out loud: Kevin Costner is my #1 Old Man Crush.
“What is an old man crush?” you may ask (if for some reason
you don’t already know). Among my
group of friends, it consists of celebrity men (actor, musician, comedian,
author, etc) that are at least 15+ years older than you. It would be really inappropriate or at least
super scandalous for a girl my age to have a crush on this man, except for the
fact that he’s a celebrity. Because he
is a celebrity, I can share these frivolous feelings, with no shame behind the
fact that he’s “my old man crush”.
Yes, I do have several.
#2 would be Roger Clyne, lead singer of my favorite bar band, RCPM. #3
would be Anthony Kiedes of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Apparently I have a thing
for rockers in bands that abbreviate their name starting with an R.
Here’s the thing with old man crushes… they tend to be based
on positive feelings or the laughter that has been created in association with
them, rather than looks alone. Although
most old man crushes still are good looking men. Not always though. I have one friend whose #1 old man crush is
Jeff Bridges… I just don’t get that one…But that’s a great example that old man
crushes don’t have to be the best looking men on the block. Old man crushes are based mostly on the the
art that these men create.
Back to Kevin Costner…
I can pinpoint the exact reason why I love Kevin
Costner. Kevin Costner and I share a
love of diamonds.
Baseball Diamonds.
Actually, it goes much deeper than that – which I will dissect
below. Superficially, we can relate it
back to the fact that he loves baseball and making baseball movies. He’s made five baseball movies total (quick –
name them all in your head!), two of which I can practically recite by
memory. “Bull Durham” and “Field of
Dreams” provided coaching off the field in the sport that I grew up loving (softball). Because of that, I hold a special place in my
heart for Kevin Costner.
Now, if you were to ask me to give my love of Kevin Costner
baseball movies a deeper look, I would (and will) share that my connection with
those movies is a connection to tradition and the deepest of all – a connection
with my father.
My dad is a great dad.
I’m one of the lucky ones who had a very involved father. I am so
thankful for the relationship that I have had with him, growing up and now. I
believe that Jeff bonded with him on the farm (which I could really have cared
less about). Instead of giving up on me,
he still found a way to bond, and that bond was thru softball.
He was my coach from 2nd
grade all the way until I started playing varsity in 8th grade. We had practices together, and then when I
started pitching in fifth grade– we added pitching practices on top of
practices, as well as off season pitching sessions. Come November, we were in the gym together at
least twice a week with a foot long two by four and duct tape in replacement of
a rubber mound. Starting in January, we
would add Sunday pitching clinics so I could have outside advice on my
technique and learn new pitches. These
were my favorite – mostly because it always included a trip to DQ afterwards. Somewhere in there, between the practices and
pitching clinics and ice cream, we would find time to talk. Not always about softball or baseball
either.
In the background of this happening, we created inside jokes
and traditions that circulated around softball and baseball because that was
our bond. This is where we bring Kevin
Costner baseball movies back into play.
When I was really young, my dad and I would watch “Field of
Dreams” together in the spring, before the start of softball season. He would let me stay up late to finish it–
past 10 o’clock! We went on family day
trips to Dyersville, where the film was shot.
We played games of pickup ball on the actual Field of Dreams. I've thrown a pitch from that mound, hit a
ball and have crossed home plate. Looking
back on it now, it was just a field in the middle of a corn field, much like my
high school softball field (only not as well kept). But when you are 8, 9, and 10… to play ball
on a field that was in a movie shoot, that’s pretty awesome!
As I got older, and began pitching, he began quoting Bull
Durham to me. If I shook off the pitch
that he wanted me to work on throwing, he occasionally would call me “Meat” – I
think for his own personal enjoyment because I wasn't allowed to actually watch
the movie until after I was a freshman in high school (due to the racy nature
of much of the sub context). After he
knew that I had watched the movie, the jokes kept coming. A bad day on the mound where it was obvious
that I was thinking too much would have him yelling “Hit the Bull” to me during
a game – just to get a smile. Halfway
thru my first season on varsity, where I was beyond frustrated because we hadn't won a game yet and I was trying to put all of the blame on myself – the very
young, inexperienced pitcher – he took me aside and reminded me that I didn't need to strike everyone out, that strikeouts are boring and fascist. Ground hits are more democratic.
From those taunts and reminders, my personal tradition of watching
Kevin Costner baseball movies, and other baseball movies at the start of the
season was born. I try to watch “Bull
Durham” & “Field of Dreams” before opening day. Also added to the mix are favorites that I
would watch with my teammates during the season. Typical high school girls, we would have
slumber parties and be drawn to movies – favorites during the summer season in particular
were “The Sandlot” & “A League of Their Own”. Hilmer, our coach, LOVED quoting Tom Hanks’s
character. The entire team learned to
suffer thru those strawberries on shins and thighs, because there is no crying
in baseball. I still have a pretty good
scar on my elbow from one awful, rough slide… of which I remember practically
biting thru my lip as I wiped off the dirt and rocks, & cleaned up the
blood after returning to the dugout because I didn't want to hear Hilmer repeat
that quote again.
I owe a lot of happy memories to softball; to my dad, to my
team, to my coaches. They come back to
me at random moments – (like when I hear duct tape being pulled out and torn). I've blogged before about how music can take
me back, unexpectedly (here). However, come
April - I know that I am submitting myself to hour upon hour of memory by
watching these movies. I treasure the
ability to summon them, purposefully. And
I treasure being able to whole heartily relate to one of the last quotes of
James Earl Jones’s character in the Field of Dreams (which starts and ends with
“People will come, Ray…”) :
“And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in
shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats
somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children
and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped
themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush
them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all
the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of
steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again.
But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our
past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good and that could be again…”
I continue this spring cinematic tradition because (like
baseball, my father, and teammates) it has been my constant.
That, and Kevin Costner is my old man crush. They kind of go hand in hand.
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| 2001 Senior Year Senior Photo PS- I rocked the stirrup socks today as I was writing this. |
