Why Not?: Just Another Work in Progress: Puppies trump Babies

Last week this little guy came to live in our neighborhood. His name is Ruger and he is an 8 week old boxer puppy. He is full of snuggles and happiness and smiles. Or maybe that is just me whenever I see him. It might be best to just consider this a mutual reaction at this time.

Snuggling with Ruger last night while keeping him warm in my coat as our neighborhood gathered for an impromptu celebration of That Day (the unofficial first day of spring) reminded me of when my own two dogs were puppies.

This was Penny Lane at 10 weeks.

And Layla, at 8 weeks, the day that we picked her up from the Humane Society.

It's hard for me to believe that these pictures were taken 2 and 5 years ago. The time between sweet little puppy kisses and now has flown by. I treasure those memories and am grateful that I was able to raise my pets from this point of their lives on.

Yes- I am a dog person. I am definitely a puppy person. The sight of a puppy will start me walking towards a stranger, asking "Can I pet your puppy?" I need a puppy fix, like so many of my friends are now needing a baby fix, to satisfy maternal instincts.

I have never needed a baby fix. In fact, babies send me running in the opposite direction completely. I've shared this with some of my girlfriends who are now mothers, only to receive strange, sympathetic looks. Looks that seem to echo "Is it possible to be a woman and NOT love babies?!"

Yes. If you could just give me a 3 year old kid, I would probably be more likely to add my name to the "kids-yes" list sooner rather than later. But you can't just get a 3 year old, not if you want your own 3 year old. You have to have a baby to get to that 3 year old.

Here's the deal. I know plenty of women that are scared of childbirth and that's what's holding them back. Yes- I admit that childbirth does not sound appealing to me, but I also understand that's what pain medications are for. What terrifies me is that I've never really been around a lot of babies. I don't know what to do with them. Babies scare me. I don't want to do something wrong- hold them wrong, not talk to them enough, not change their diaper in time, and have it mess up the rest of their life.

At work, I see a lot of disabled children who have moderate to severe disabilities. Most have disabilities that are developmental and even genetic, and I understand that as a parent those disabilities are something that you can't control because that's part of life. But more than a few children have disabilities because their parents let something happen, haven't worked with the child enough, didn't make a child's problem a priority and it has escalated to the point of needing extra therapy, or the parents simply don't know how/care to fix the issue on their own. That's scary to me. I would not be that type of parent (so I would hope) but it makes me very aware that there's so much more to teaching a baby than sit, stay, off, down, heel, and check in.

I have been around a lot of puppies and dogs. I feel very confident in my ability to train a dog. I know how to simplify commands and demand attention. I know how to establish myself as the "Alpha". Layla will fetch beer out of the fridge, she will hold a treat in her mouth without eating it for 5 minutes- I have that dog under my thumb. Yet, I still struggled with training Penny as she is much more strong willed and stubborn than many of the dogs that I've helped raised. She is 2 years old and she is still learning, slowly but surely, and still finds ways to test my patience. But if Penny's bad, I can leave her in her crate during the day. That's acceptable, even recommended, for a dog who gets into things and misbehaves.

I've come to appreciate that puppies grow so quickly. With most puppies (Penny not included), you only have to expect one year of hard core parenting before the puppy is mature enough to apply the lessons that you have been diligently teaching. With children, it's a mandatory 18 years by law. By law- not what you morally feel obligated to give because they are your own flesh and blood and you love them and whatnot.

When I come home, both Penny and Layla are waiting by the door with tails wagging. I know that they are telling me that seeing me right then is the best part of their day. They aren't complaining about how much school sucked or that I need to give them a ride or that they need $5. I am not sure that I ever told my parents that they were the best part of my day when I was a child. It's just not something that occurs to children to say. Yet that single acknowledgement from my pets at the end of my work day is often the best part of my day too.

Now I'm not going to say that we will never have children. I'm sure that some day we will try to have a family and I'm sure at that time, I will hope that we will be successful. But that day is very far away. Right now, I am completely satisfied with the bi-species family that we have formed.