First - I doubt that there is anything I can write about that will top last week's blog as far as hits & controversy. It’s all downhill from here kids….But I do think that I have stumbled upon a somewhat hilarious topic to blog about this week to try to retain a portion of you that contributed to the 1,500 hits (and counting) that I received last week.
Meet my friend Christine.
A little bit about Christine before we get into the story. I joke that she’s the most interesting person I know, but I really feel that way. Sorry to everyone else out there. Read on and you’ll understand why.
What makes Christine so interesting?
- She’s a bad ass snowboarder that can outrun and out jump most of the guys that we ride with
- In high school she played Left & Right Wing on the MEN”S varsity hockey squad
- Post college she took an internship in
South Africa - Following the internship, she moved to
Miami - Next fall she’s leaving us to go back to
Oregon State forVet School - With her summer off in between she has decided that she wants to go to
Alaska
This girl is fearless. I can also state for a fact that she is one of the sweetest, kindest individual I’ve met. She’s a great friend, beautiful from the inside out.
She also happens to be single.
As one of the only girls in our group who is unattached, and – mind you – not looking for anything serious since she is up and leaving for grad school in a matter of months, we delight in her stories of dating mishaps. It’s a bit different when the girl isn’t searching for that deep meaningful connection. These guys aren’t going to stick around, so like Christine, we don’t get attached and don’t feel bad when the date doesn’t turn out as planned. It feels good to selfishly laugh at their seemingly rookie mistakes and not offend, because the girl wanted the guy to be more than he was .
But this guy…. Oh man, he needs an intervention….
I wasn’t there, but Christine set the stage very well. Let me share.
Christine and 2 of our other girlfriends went out last Friday night. At 1 a.m. they stumbled into a bar in Old Town
This, of course, gets her attention to a certain degree. She tells him her name in Christine. He calls her Kristy. She corrects him. “Can’t I just call you Kristy?” he asks. She tells him no. “I’m just going to call you Kristy,” he responds.
She continues to talk to him until bar close. She is somewhat interested, even if a little annoyed by the name thing, so she gives him her cell number. They part ways. Her next contact with him is a text message.
At 5 a.m. that morning….
(Oh- and if you really want to get the best laugh about what comes next, I suggest that you quickly surround yourself with your closest friends, drink a few glasses of wine, and read the following messages out loud. TRUST ME)
“Ok I really like you Kristy, this is Scott. And I really want to date you, not just kinda. I want to love you too, and you can leave me whenever, orrrr want to try to do this instead!!!!!?! Tomorrow, or we can talk on it for awhile, why try soooo hard though when we could just do it for us, like a boss!!!...Here we go, I can feel something good inside of you, and I felt it big time earlier tonight, it was meant to be!! and I am not trying to convince you. I am saying you are the shit, and you f*(ing rock, and you are cool to me! So cool, for real Kristy! I have never told a women that, and you can show your friends this text if you want to yoooo!"
(side point – I think she would have showed up the texts even if he didn’t give her permission to;)
“ you are everything I see in myself, like a friend I am no better and I can love you fully, although Kristy I mean that! I felt it fully tonight, like not too much, just a lot. Haha and I don’t want it to be weird for you, that’s true… for it to be nothing tho and us to be just friends would suck nutz! Lol, when we could just rock at it together lol and that is funny haha!!! Ok, we could be great together if we tried it, did it, And you know it!!! You are a gret person and I am very attracted to you, like sooo much to everything about you, and why is that bad? I want to doooo it, ha fo youu? Because I want to be yours and I want to try everything with you instead of just letting everything go, forever with you is better, I want to then its perfect we only met you knowwww,? Alright, don’t just real me off on this statement lol and I know you can see it, I know you know it, what do you think? Somethingggg good, sexy, fun, tell me anything? Got any ideas??????? Ha ok honestly do you like it when I say it out, I Love you? Scott from the bar hahaha!"
I really am not doing it justice as a text. This message was so long that it came in as 14 separate texts. He follows this gigantic text with the following, minutes later.
“What is your last name if you don’t mind Me asking, and yes I am Not..a super huge giant creep, I swear it!! Lol have a good day tomorrow, and I love you a ton!”
Obviously Christine doesn’t answer.
Saturday night, he writes again.
At 8 p.m.:
“Yo Yo!”
At 9 p.m.:
“…and have a good night!!”
At Midnight:
“yooooo wtf are you doing Kristy!? I just got done with work!! 12 hours of shitt since 10 this morning, lets get krunkkd ha please?! Saturday night f*( yeah I livelive downtown so I am dowm foooo whatever!!”
At 12:30 a.m.:
“So shit! I don’t care get me drunk with me break my heart and sdnd me home alone even like idk do you smoke trees? I got some shtuff we can smoke bar hop it, I don’t have a lot of money tho I got enough to buy you a beer, hit me up baby I want to!!!!”
Ah, the picture starts to become a little bit clearer with that last text….
Christine was working an overnight at the vet clinic that she works at. She didn’t get any of Saturday’s messages until 7 a.m. on Sunday morning.
But it doesn’t stop there. Sunday morning….
At 9 a.m.:
“You know courage comes from bravery. I went backpacking through Peru in 2009, that is South America ! I think the bolder experiences in our lives that we chose define, did you know that we are like the 5 most people in ourlives? Meaning: there is a reason why people have the characteristics we see in ourselves, haha!”
Followed by my personal favorite, at 9:45 a.m.:
“Do you like country music?”
And finally, at 10 a.m., Scott from the bars last ditch effort to pull “Kristy” into his world:
“I have so many things I wan to do with my one and only life, how about you? I want to travel and play music… I want to build a house in the mountains one day when I am wealthy haha… I haven’t been home in so long, I have learned to findout that home is where the heart is, maybe that you see that in me?”
And that is the last that we’ve heard from Scott at the bar. All that, heart and soul poured out partially thru liquid and smoked courage I’m sure, without a single response from his beloved “Kristy”. Sigh… I’m thinking that someone needs to explain to Scott from the bar that my Rule of 3 does not mean 3 days filled with as much contact as possible. I’m sure his heart is breaking.
Now, I will admit that back in the day, I would mis-use my phone when in a drunken state and drunk dial or text ridiculous things to my friends or boyfriend. Or – would forget to hang up my phone after I was done talking…. (anyone who knows THAT story should be laughing right now) Really, I think that any of us who have been in college during the age of cell phones can admit that drunk dials and texts are just an embarrassment that you learn to live with. But the above really takes the cake….
Which has led a few of those who have seen the messages to wonder if this guy was really sending all of those messages on purpose… or maybe his asshole buddy just got a hold of his phone and was trying to sabotage his friend for who knows what reason…
The messages are so cringe worthy that it is hard to believe that Scott from the bar could be so clueless on his drunk texting… or even that drunk…. to think that any of that was a good idea.
So I’m throwing it out there – what do you think?
Is Scott from the bar:
- That clueless?
- That drunk/stoned?
- A prankster – or his buddy is?
- Or just a plain old fashioned stalker and we should suggest that Christine gets a new phone number and never step foot in Lucky Joe’s again.
(I’m going to suggest that anyway).
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